What Not To Say To A Bisexual: The Essential Pocket Guide

by J. Talison

What not to say to a bisexual is about helping us all have better conversations about bisexual attraction and identity. Intended for non-bisexuals and bisexuals alike, this pocket-sized guide explains why you should avoid things like “it’s a phase”, “you’re really just gay”, “how can I trust you?”, and much more whether you know someone is bisexual or not.

What not to say to a bisexual is based on numerous conservations with a wide range of people across multiple countries, ethnic backgrounds, and age groups who identify as bisexual, others within the LGBTQIA+ community and their allies. It also draws on the author’s own experience as someone who has been openly bisexual for decades.

Attraction to more than one gender is not new and this guide focuses on “bisexuality” as it is the term most easily recognised and has the longest history. However, much of this guide also applies equally across other terms to describe attraction such as omnisexual (to all genders and sexualities equally), pansexual (regardless of sex or gender identity), and polysexual (multiple genders).

Sexuality is not a choice but deciding who knows and the extent to which it forms part of anyone’s public identity should be theirs to determine. Identifying as bisexual in private is no less valid than the most openly vocal bisexual – there is no right or wrong way to be bisexual but there are some things you should try not to say to or about those attracted to more than one gender.

In the end, only you will be able to tell which may be ok for interactions with a friend, family member, partner or other person who may or may not have told you they are bisexual. But What not to say to a bisexual may help you and them along the way.

INCLUSION CRITERIA

The book focuses on bisexual, pansexual, and other m-spec issues. Author J. Taison identifies as bisexual.