The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution

Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between book

AUTHOR: Julie Sondra Decker
PUBLISHER: Carrel Books 
LANGUAGE: English
DATE: 2014
PRINTING: First
PAGES: 216
ISBN:
1631440020

TAGS:

Publisher’s Description

What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?

A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.

Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.

When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. 

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements
Introduction

My Story
What is this book about?
Who is this book for?
Why was this book written?
PART ONE: ASEXUALITY 101
The Basics
Asexuality is a Sexual Orientation
Asexuality is a Mature State
Asexuality is a Description
Asexuality is a Healthy Status
Asexuality is a Reasonable Possibility
PART TWO: ASEXUAL EXPERIENCES
Romantic Orientation
— Romanticism
— Aromanticism
— Grayromanticism
— Demiromanticism
Libido and Masturbation
Intimate and Sexual Activity
— Polyamory and Non-Monogamy
— Kink, Fetish Play, and BDSM
Gray Areas
— Graysexuality
— Demisexuality
Asexual Relationships
Society, Descrimination, and Queer Communities
Asexual Community
—Young and Asexual
— Older and Asexual
— Asexual Women, Asexual Men
— Asexual People of Color
— Gay / Queer and Asexual
— Other Non-Cisgender / Non-Binary Identities and Asexuality
— Autistic and Asexual
— Disability, Illness, Mental Illness, Disorders, and Asexuality
— Asexual Survivors of Abuse
— Asexual People and Entertainment
— Asexual Community Insiders
— Non-Asexual People
— The Asexual Experience
PART THREE: THE MANY MYTHS OF ASEXUALITY
Bingo!
Arent They Using the Word Asexual Incorrectly?
Is Asexuality Base on Fear of or Anger Toward Other Genders?
Do People Become Asexual Because They Fail at Dating?
Do People Become Asexual Because They’re Physically Unattractive?
Do Asexual People Have a Physical or Hormonal Problem?
Are Asexual People Too Distracted by Their Busy Lives to Be Sexual?
Did Asexual People Have a Bad Sexual Experience and Swear Off Sex?
Could Asexual People Be Suffering From Trauma Brought on by Sexual Abuse?
Could Asexual People Be Secrety Gay?
Have Asexual People Just Not Met the Right Person?
Is Asexuality a Religious Statement?
Are Asexual People Going Through a Phase or Seeking Attention by Being Different?
Wouldn’t Asexual People Be Lonely All the Time?
Are AsexualPeople Repressed, Boring, or Dispassionate?
Aren’t Asexual People Being Awfully Selfish? Isn’t an Asexual Person a Tease?
Don’t Asexual People Need to Procreate?
Do Asexual People Hate Sex or People Who Have Sex?
Should Asexual People Get Therapy to Be Fixed?
Aren’t Asexual People So Lucky to Have Simple, Uncomplicated Lives Without Sex?
Shouldn’t Asexual People Let an Experienced Sexual Partner Change Their Minds?
PART FOUR: IF YOU’RE ASEXUAL (OR THINK YOU MIGHT BE)
Am I Asexual?
But This Changes Everything!
Should I Come Out?
How Should I Handle the Criticism?
What If I’m a Teenager? Everyone Keeps Calling Me a “Late Bloomer”
What If I’m Already in a Relationship, or Want to Be? What Do I Tell My Partner(s)?
So Where Do I Go From Here?
PART FIVE: IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS ASEXUAL (OR MIGHT BE)
A Message for Non-Asexual People
What Does It All Mean?
What Do Asexual People Want? How Can I Make Them Feel Accepted?
So How Can I Acknowledge Their Existence?
Is There Anything I Should Avoid Saying or Doing?
Somebody Just Told Me They’re Asexual! What Do I Do?
Can I Ask Questions?
What Questions Can I Ask, Without Making Someone Uncomfortable?
Anything I Should Avoid Assuming?
PART SIX: OTHER RESOURCES
Basic Information, Introductions, Organizations, and FAQs
Discussion Groups, Networking, and Forums
Academic Resources and Research Collectives
Brochures and Educational Materials
Published Papers and Book Chapters on Asexuality
Published Articles and Interviews on Asexuality
Asexuality-Related Professional Video Media
Asexuality-Related Interviews, Presentations, and Podcasts
Internet Videos and Channels on Asexuality
Asexuality-Related Blogs
“Asexual Perspectives” Contributors
Bibliography
Index

Library Books Cited in this Work

Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire
L. M. Diamond

Other Relevant Books Cited

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men by L.B.Girshick

Library Notes

Purchased new by the library. Hardback.