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AUTHOR: Justin Blackburn
PUBLISHER: Independently published
DATE: 2019
PAGES: 111

The Bisexual Christian Suburban Failure Enlightening Bipolar Blues

by Justin Blackburn

I came out of the womb already on fire from the homophobic hell of the Southern Baptist Church. Their Savior said ‘Love Your Neighbor’ yet they hated me for expressing my love? My childhood was how sinful I am, what pills to swallow, how ashamed I made my father. My honorable judge father lol, he beat me, belittled me, sent me to Gay-to-Straight Christian Conversion Camps where I was mole…whoa, we’re just meeting each other, sorry.

Senior year daddy dearest said “stop being queer, attend my Alma Mater, join my frat or be homeless!” Deeply desiring a family, I caved. Yeah, I still hate me for it too. I entered the University of Alabama as the role my father cast but no amount of beer bongs turned off my inner truth so I turned to Jesus. The more I learned the more I wanted to heal the sick, feed the poor, embody his message. So on my 21st instead of beers with bros, I drove home to give Dad my truth. I thought since Jesus inspired me he’d understand instead he strangled me, said if I come back he’d finish the job. I still hear mom screaming ‘look what you made him do…’

WTF am I doing? You don’t care about me. You only care about getting retweets and subscribers on fucking Youtube. You don’t care that I was locked in a mental institution for no reason and break out to find my partner cheating, my job firing me, and becoming homeless. You don’t care about the trauma beat into my childhood. You don’t care about what’s keeping you from embodying your deepest truth. Fuck, I’m sorry, you’re not supposed too. That’s my job. That’s why I wrote this.

The Bisexual Christian Suburban Failure Enlightening Bipolar Blues is me confronting my trauma and changing it so I can embody who I am so I can help change this fucking stupid disconnected beautiful world!


Author Justin Blackburn identifies as bisexual.


[coming soon]



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