The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

Life Isn’t Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between book

Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

AUTHOR: Julie Sondra Decker
PUBLISHER: Carrel Books 
LANGUAGE: English
DATE: 2014
PAGES: 216
ISBN:
1631440020

Publisher’s Description

What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?

A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.

Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.

When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. 

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements
Introduction

My Story
What is this book about?
Who is this book for?
Why was this book written?
PART ONE: ASEXUALITY 101
The Basics
Asexuality is a Sexual Orientation
Asexuality is a Mature State
Asexuality is a Description
Asexuality is a Healthy Status
Asexuality is a Reasonable Possibility
PART TWO: ASEXUAL EXPERIENCES
Romantic Orientation
— Romanticism
— Aromanticism
— Grayromanticism
— Demiromanticism
Libido and Masturbation
Intimate and Sexual Activity
— Polyamory and Non-Monogamy
— Kink, Fetish Play, and BDSM
Gray Areas
— Graysexuality
— Demisexuality
Asexual Relationships
Society, Descrimination, and Queer Communities
Asexual Community
—Young and Asexual
— Older and Asexual
— Asexual Women, Asexual Men
— Asexual People of Color
— Gay / Queer and Asexual
— Other Non-Cisgender / Non-Binary Identities and Asexuality
— Autistic and Asexual
— Disability, Illness, Mental Illness, Disorders, and Asexuality
— Asexual Survivors of Abuse
— Asexual People and Entertainment
— Asexual Community Insiders
— Non-Asexual People
— The Asexual Experience
PART THREE: THE MANY MYTHS OF ASEXUALITY
Bingo!
Arent They Using the Word Asexual Incorrectly?
Is Asexuality Base on Fear of or Anger Toward Other Genders?
Do People Become Asexual Because They Fail at Dating?
Do People Become Asexual Because They’re Physically Unattractive?
Do Asexual People Have a Physical or Hormonal Problem?
Are Asexual People Too Distracted by Their Busy Lives to Be Sexual?
Did Asexual People Have a Bad Sexual Experience and Swear Off Sex?
Could Asexual People Be Suffering From Trauma Brought on by Sexual Abuse?
Could Asexual People Be Secrety Gay?
Have Asexual People Just Not Met the Right Person?
Is Asexuality a Religious Statement?
Are Asexual People Going Through a Phase or Seeking Attention by Being Different?
Wouldn’t Asexual People Be Lonely All the Time?
Are AsexualPeople Repressed, Boring, or Dispassionate?
Aren’t Asexual People Being Awfully Selfish? Isn’t an Asexual Person a Tease?
Don’t Asexual People Need to Procreate?
Do Asexual People Hate Sex or People Who Have Sex?
Should Asexual People Get Therapy to Be Fixed?
Aren’t Asexual People So Lucky to Have Simple, Uncomplicated Lives Without Sex?
Shouldn’t Asexual People Let an Experienced Sexual Partner Change Their Minds?
PART FOUR: IF YOU’RE ASEXUAL (OR THINK YOU MIGHT BE)
Am I Asexual?
But This Changes Everything!
Should I Come Out?
How Should I Handle the Criticism?
What If I’m a Teenager? Everyone Keeps Calling Me a “Late Bloomer”
What If I’m Already in a Relationship, or Want to Be? What Do I Tell My Partner(s)?
So Where Do I Go From Here?
PART FIVE: IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS ASEXUAL (OR MIGHT BE)
A Message for Non-Asexual People
What Does It All Mean?
What Do Asexual People Want? How Can I Make Them Feel Accepted?
So How Can I Acknowledge Their Existence?
Is There Anything I Should Avoid Saying or Doing?
Somebody Just Told Me They’re Asexual! What Do I Do?
Can I Ask Questions?
What Questions Can I Ask, Without Making Someone Uncomfortable?
Anything I Should Avoid Assuming?
PART SIX: OTHER RESOURCES
Basic Information, Introductions, Organizations, and FAQs
Discussion Groups, Networking, and Forums
Academic Resources and Research Collectives
Brochures and Educational Materials
Published Papers and Book Chapters on Asexuality
Published Articles and Interviews on Asexuality
Asexuality-Related Professional Video Media
Asexuality-Related Interviews, Presentations, and Podcasts
Internet Videos and Channels on Asexuality
Asexuality-Related Blogs
“Asexual Perspectives” Contributors
Bibliography
Index

Library Notes

Purchased new by the library. Hardback.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

AUTHOR: Angela Chen
PUBLISHER: Beacon Press
LANGUAGE: English
DATE: 2020
PRINTING: First
PAGES: 210
ISBN:
080701379X

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

by Angela Chen

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex is an engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the world

What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through the world not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about consent, about compromise, about the structures of society? This exceedingly accessible guide to asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are conflicts that all of us need to address as we move through the world.

Through interviews, cultural criticism, and memoir, ACE invites all readers to consider big-picture issues through the lens of asexuality, because every place that sexuality touches our world, asexuality does too.

Journalist Angela Chen uses her own journey of self-discovery as an asexual person to unpretentiously educate and vulnerably connect with readers, effortlessly weaving analysis of sexuality and societally imposed norms with interviews of ace people. Among those included are the woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and the man who grew up in an evangelical household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Also represented are disabled aces, aces of color, non-gender-conforming aces questioning whether their asexuality is a reaction against stereotypes, and aces who don’t want romantic relationships asking how our society can make room for them. 

TABLE OF CONTENTS
  • Author’s Note
  • Part I: Self
    • Prologue
    • Chapter 1: Arriving at Asexuality
    • Chapter 2: Explanation Via Negativa
    • Chapter 3: Compulsory Sexuality and (Male) Asexual Existence
  • Part II: Variations on a Theme
    • Chapter 4: Just Let Me Liberate You
    • Chapter 5: Whitewashed
    • Chapter 6: In Sickness and in Health
  • Part III: Others
    • Chapter 7: Romance, Reconsidered
    • Chapter 8: The Good-Enough Reason
    • Chapter 9: Playing with Others
    • Chapter 10: Anna
    • Chapter 11: Where Are We Going, Where Have We Been?
  • Thank You
  • Further Reading
  • Notes
  • Index
QUOTES

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A Woman Like That: Lesbian & Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories

AUTHOR: Joan Larkin (editor)
CONTRIBUTORS: Bertha Harris, Judy Grahn, Jill Johnston, Karla Jay, Joan Nestle, Jane DeLynn, Blanche McCrary Boyd, Beatrix Gates, Rebecca Brown, Heather Lewis, Chrystos, Judith Katz, Holly Hughes, Cheryl Boyce Taylor, Mary Beth Caschetta, Elizabeth Lourde-Rollins, Minne Bruce Pratt, Cynthia Bond, Mariana Romo-Carmona, Jacquie Bishop, Eileen Mylos, Margaret Randall, Karin Cook, Wendy W. Fairey, Letta Neely, Tristan Taormino, Cecilia Tan, Pat Califia, Kanani Kauka, Eva Kollisch, Lesléa Newman
PUBLISHER: William Morrow Paperbacks
LANGUAGE: English
PAGES: 352
DATE: 2000
ISBN: 0380802473

A Woman Like That: Lesbian & Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories

edited by Joan Larkin

The act of “coming out” has the power to transform every aspect of a woman’s life: family, friendships, career, sexuality, spirituality. An essential element of self-realization, it is the unabashed acceptance of one’s “outlaw” standing in a predominantly heterosexual world.

These accounts — sometimes heart-wrenching, often exhilarating — encompass a wide breadth of backgrounds and experiences. From a teenager institutionalized for her passion for women to the mother who must come out to her young sons at the risk of losing them — from the cautious academic to the raucous liberated femme — each woman represented here tells of forging a unique path toward the difficult but emancipating recognition of herself. Extending from the 1940s to the present day, these intensely personal stories in turn reflect a unique history of the changing social mores that affected each woman’s ability to determine the shape of her own life. Together they form an ornate tapestry of lesbian and bisexual experience in the United States over the past half-century.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
  • Introduction by Joan Larkin
  • This Song is Dedicated to the One I Love by Bertha Harris
  • Widows by Judy Grahn
  • Mad for Her by Jill Johnston
  • First Love by Karla Jay
  • Novelties by Joan Nestle
  • The Secret Agent by Jane DeLynn
  • My Debut by Blanche McCrary Boyd
  • Red Light, Green Light by Beatrix Gates
  • A Vision by Rebecca brown
  • Richard Nixon and Me by Heather Lewis
  • Cherry Picker by Chrystos
  • Born Queer by Judith Katz
  • What Comes First by Holly Hughes
  • House of Corals by Cheryl Boyce Taylor
  • Bride of Christ by Mary Beth Caschetta
  • The Coming Out of a Gay Pride Child by Elizabeth Lourde-Rollins
  • Easter Weekend by Minne Bruce Pratt
  • Pot Luck by Cynthia Bond
  • A Letter to Some Lesbian Who’ve Been Out for a Long Time by Mariana Romo-Carmona
  • Waking Up by Jacquie Bishop
  • Banditos by Eileen Mylos
  • Coming Out… or Going More Deeply In? by Margaret Randall
  • Sequins in the Mud: A Cover Girl Comes Out by Karin Cook
  • Mind and Body by Wendy W. Fairey
  • Always Coming by Letta Neely
  • This Girl Is Different by Tristan Taormino
  • Picture This by Cecilia Tan
  • Layers of the Onion, Spokes of the Wheel by Pat Califia
  • Freedom Rings by Kanani Kauka
  • Together Alone by Eva Kollisch
  • Diary of a Mad Lesbian by Lesléa Newman
  • Contributors
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A History of Bisexuality

< RETURN TO bi, pan, & m-spec nonfiction

AUTHOR: Steven Angelides 
PUBLISHER: University of Chicago Press
DATE:
September 15, 2001
EAN:
9780226020907

A History of Bisexuality

by Steven Angelides 

Why is bisexuality the object of such skepticism? Why do sexologists steer clear of it in their research? Why has bisexuality, in stark contrast to homosexuality, only recently emerged as a nascent political and cultural identity? Bisexuality has been rendered as mostly irrelevant to the history, theory, and politics of sexuality. With A History of Bisexuality, Steven Angelides explores the reasons why, and invites us to rethink our preconceptions about sexual identity. Retracing the evolution of sexology, and revisiting modern epistemological categories of sexuality in psychoanalysis, gay liberation, social constructionism, queer theory, biology, and human genetics, Angelides argues that bisexuality has historically functioned as the structural other to sexual identity itself, undermining assumptions about heterosexuality and homosexuality.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
  • Acknowledgements
    • 1. Introducing Bisexuality
  • Part 1: Constructing Sexual Identity
    • 2. Science and the Invention of (Bi) Sexuality
    • 3. “The Unsolved Figure in the Carpet”
    • 4. The Pink Threat
  • Part 2: Deconstructing Sexual Identity
    • 5. The Repressed Returns
    • 6. Sexuality and Subjection
    • 7. The Queer Intervention
    • 8. Beyond Sexuality
  • Notes
  • Bibliography
  • Index
QUOTES

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